My wife's seizures follow a mysterious internal clock, one governed by its own rhythms that on of their face don't seem to follow any we are familiar with. It has been obvious to us for years now that her seizures are brought by hormonal changes. However, they do not occur on a monthly cycle. Instead, the clock strikes about every six weeks.
We know in general now when they are about the happen. Still, when the alarm sounds, that first moment when the switch clicks somewhere deep in her brain, its always the same. Its always a surprise and its always terrifying. I am much more calm and able to handle the moments that follow. We have a pretty good system and a miracle medicine (Diastat) that clamps down on the seizures and has saved us for many harrowing emergency room visits. Still, I never get used to the start of it.
Tonight, we were watching the Red Wings game and she fell asleep. A few moments later, I sensed something change. I turned to her and eyes were wide open, her pupils blazing. Everytime, it slowly dawns on me. "What?" at first and then "Oh, s***". Down the rabbit hole and more missing time between us. She will be gone for a few days and not quite herself.
One of my favorite sayings is "Wherever you go, there you are." Right now, she's not there. Her body is here, but she is somewhere else. I can't wait for her to come back, to have her with me until the alarm sounds again.